A comical guest post

August 6, 2017

 

Today's post is a comical look at one of my clients recent trial and ERROR using one of my Primal recipes at a family gathering,enjoy!

 

 

A Tale of One Mango, a Banana & a couple of Passion Fruit

 

By Charles Dickens

 

Abridged by Sue Desborough

 

I tell this cautionary tale in full support of Dean Palfreyman’s primal recipes and to help you along your quest of the ultimate primal dining experience and primal health.

 

Background to my tale:

 

My brother lives on the Isle of Lewis and comes down to stay with our mother every year, for two weeks. Mum lives alone and the custom since Dad died has been that my brother organises a BBQ when Mum’s wonderful neighbours, friends and her 4 grandchildren can gather together at her home in Staffordshire. Garden games (Jenga, Tin Can Alley and the like) are assembled, music arranged, bunting and world flags (depicting travels to far-flung places) are strung up. A carnival atmosphere ensues and all that is left is to prepare the food…………………………

 

My brother is ex-army ~ so it’s ‘a given’ that he will take sole charge of the BBQ & all the drinks.

I insist (much to his disgust) that there should be sweet-stuff to finish off. My Bailey’s Cheesecake & Mississippi Mud Pie are renowned, so these are compulsory.…but what will I eat, to stay ‘primal’?

 

Ah-ha!   The ideal time to try out Dean’s

 

Primal Mango Cheesecake

 

Read on…..

 

It has been a busy week and now it’s 10.15pm the night before the BBQ. I have just completed the Bailey’s Cheesecake and Mississippi Mud Pie, safely stored in the fridge.

 

Now, for my ‘piece de resistance’    

 

I had decided to double-up Deans topping, so after preparing the base I set about peeling 4 avocados. Mmmmm? maybe a bit too firm but my sturdy blender finally managed to persuade them into a pulp. After all, I remember a conversation with Dean that there is an ‘in-joke’ about avocados amongst ‘Primal Aficionados’ regarding the tiniest opportunity for  avocado perfection – so, clearly this is not my fault…my avocados just haven’t quite reached their potential (I can deal with that – story of my life really!).

 

Undeterred therefore by this minor set-back, I soldier on (after all, it is now about 10.45pm on a Friday night at the end of a long week).

 

Peel mango No.1…..squidgy slimy little blighter….but in it goes, to join the avocado pulp in the weary blender.

Peel mango No.2……but what have we here? A brown sludge, clearly well beyond human consumption.  

 

Shop is shut, my bed beckons but “once a Brownie…

…always a Brownie!”

 

Be Prepared!

 

So (yet again) undeterred I investigate the Quartermaster’s stores……….

 

There’s an Apple! Apple!

Big as you can grapple

In the store! In the store!

An orange! An orange!

Mountainous as The Borange

In the Qua-ter-mas-ter’s Store!

 

My eyes are dim, I can-not see

I have not brought my specs with me

What fruit here, looking up at me?

 

A banana! Yes, surely in-keeping with the tropical mango……2 passion fruit…..Oh! This is all going so well! Who needs 2 mangos when the Quartermaster is so well stocked?

 

Time is ticking on I say to myself, must press on as we all know what happened to Cinderella...  

So in they go: 1 banana and 2 passion fruit, thrust into the cavernous blender to meet their fate!

Now add the coconut oil

Don’t need honey with the sweetness of the banana I confidently conclude

Spread over the base and put in the fridge until tomorrow……..the clock strikes twelve…..

 

 

 

Just in the nick of time!

What could possibly go wrong now?

 

Well the sun shone, an armchair was taken outdoors for our Mum, the principal guest. The BBQ was alight and folks started to arrive. Bunting bristling in the warm breeze, #♫ ‘Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now’ and #♪ ‘You’ll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties’ adding to the jollity of the afternoon.

Eventually the embers were dying down and it was time to Bring on the Girls/Puds!

 

# ♫ Girls Just Wanna Have Fun ♫

 

As the rest of this tale is still a source of deep distress, I have chosen to use my BBQ Playlist to illustrate what happened next……..

  • ♫ Don’t You Want Me

  • ♫ Hang On Sloopy

  • ♫ I’m a Believer

  • ♫ Your Mother Should Know

  • ♫ Brothers (up) in Arms

  • ♫ Another One Bites the Dust

  • ♫ Big Girls Don’t Cry

  • ♫ Billy (Sue’s husband) Don’t Be a Hero

  • ♫  Jump (For My Life)

  • ♫ The Pushbike Song (I’m a Celebrity, Get   Me Out of Here!)

  • ♫ Don’t Look Back in Anger

  • ♫ Leaning on a Lamp Post (some quiet reflection…….several miles away)

  • ♫ And finally…..Primal Mango Cheesecake……♪ Never Gonna Give You Up ♪

                

 

Footnote: To achieve culinary excellence we clearly need to

  • Get organised, check ingredients before starting ~ but do not be tempted to over-squeeze your mangos

  • Basically, just KEEP to the recipe! Do what it says on the tin/instructions

  • Always try a recipe out before presenting before a crowd of unsuspecting friends & neighbors & family ~ especially if the whole purpose of that gathering is to thank them profusely for all their support and friendship towards your 88 year old mother who is living with dementia, in her home of 64 years…..

  • One lone cook can spoil the broth/pud

  • Carry On Going Primal!

 

The End, for now........

 

 

 

 

I'm sure many of you can relate to this story, I know I can so I hope you enjoyed it.

 

Thanks to Sue

 

 

Keep it Primal 

 

Dean

 

 

 

 

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